It's well known: Fear of public speaking is a widespread and powerful feeling. Yet, the speakers we meet in our classes often seem to think they're the only ones battling nerves.
Rather than get rid of your public speaking nervousness, what would happen if you made peace with nerves? What might that look like? And how could it help?
1. Resist making it a bigger block than it is.
"You're nervous, because you want to do a good job," Buckley coach Elise Partin tells participants in our workshops. She encourages them to reframe nerves as excitement or eagerness to get a message across to an audience. In other words, instead of telling yourself I'm so nervous, try telling yourself I'm excited for this chance to share what I know.
At the very least, stop the self-talk that undermines you: It's okay to be nervous. It doesn't mean you're doomed.
2. You can be a great AND be nervous.
If you've equated complete elimination of public speaking nerves with being an accomplished presenter, let go of that idea. You may always be nervous. That doesn't mean you can't be fantastic.
Many excellent speakers we know still feel nervous—usually when they first step up, sometimes unexpectedly in the middle of a presentation. They rely on the skills they've developed as a presenter to carry them through. They know they can keep going, even with nerves—and that those feelings will most likely settle down soon.
What's helped them know they can keep going is practice--which you can get by seeking out lower stakes opportunities to speak in front of others--in meetings or internal presentations, for example
3. Your audience likely doesn't know.
After a speaking exercise, we'll have a student say: I was so nervous! But from their delivery, we had no idea. That's why we say with a wink: If we can't tell you're suffering, we don't care.
First of all, your internal struggle won't be obvious if you're speaking at a reasonable rate, making eye contact, and moving through your message in a way that makes sense.
Then, there's this: Audiences want you to do well. When a speaker suffers, the audience suffers with them. Most people are rooting for you, out of self-interest if nothing else. That might be another reason audiences are slow to notice the tiny clues that might let them know you're not one hundred percent at ease.
Don't let nerves keep you from making progress.
There are any number of ways you can go about increasing your confidence and minimizing the impact that being nervous is having on you. Some are quick, specific techniques you can use before or during a talk. Others are a long-term investment that help you build a core of confidence you can draw on, so dread of public speaking can be diminished.
One concept that proves helpful to nearly every person is to remind yourself of your purpose. You have information other people need to hear. You are speaking because you want to share that, not to be perfect, not to be an entertainer.
We call this becoming the servant of your message. It's a good way to shift your focus off yourself and onto what you're trying to accomplish, and that seems to help presenters get their nerves in check.
LEARN MORE
For ways you can project confidence until you're feeling it, see our how-to guide.
Because practice helps you find your footing, see these ideas for how you can find more speaking opportunities.
Understanding the source of your anxiety can help you manage it and be kinder to yourself. Learn more about the sources of stage fright.
