"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
– toast attributed to Benjamin Franklin
Toasts can be as casual as a group of friends raising a glass with a rousing "to us" over pizza. Toasts are also a part of formal gatherings, wedding receptions or business retirement dinners, for example, in which the toast maker stands and delivers prepared remarks.
In any event, you'll feel more at ease and help others feel easy as well, if you keep a few simple guidelines in mind.
When to toast
In formal situations, it's expected to let the host take the lead. At a dinner party in which the host does not initiate a toast, a guest could get things started by toasting the host: "To Martha, a great friend and gracious host" for example.
At informal gatherings, a toast can happen more spur-of-the-moment and be offered by anyone.
Toasts are often made when wine or champagne is first served at the beginning of a meal or just before dessert.
Getting attention
Avoid tapping on a glass with a utensil. Instead, stand and say, "I'd like to make a toast." You may have to repeat this. Allow other guests to help you get attention.
"To the cold weather without and the warm hearts within."
– From Pittenger’s book "Toasts"
The toast itself
If you're making the toast, be sincere. Be witty if possible, but avoid humor that's at the expense of a person you're toasting. Remember, it's a toast—not a roast. And keep it brief. What do we mean by brief? Even a formal, planned toast should come in under 60 seconds for most occasions.
If you're in the room, lift your glass. Even if you're not drinking wine or champagne, lift your water glass and be part of the toast.
Don't lift a glass, however, if you're the one being toasted. When you're being honored in a toast, simply smile and nod as others lift their glasses to you. If you lift a glass in this situation, it's like shaking your own hand, congratulating yourself, or patting yourself on the back.
LEARN MORE
If you're charged with making a formal toast, find guidance here from one Buckley coach who describes how she prepared and delivered a toast for her son's wedding.
Our founder Reid Buckley made and heard a lot of toasts and had a few opinions on the matter. Find his tips here.
If you need a little help finding the right words, you might enjoy taking a gander at one of our favorite books in The Buckley School library.
