As public speaking coaches, we find ourselves not just thinking about how our clients communicate but also how they learn and grow. What helps a speaker most? What holds a student back?
We've often noted that members of the military are particularly good students, because they take an all-in approach to learning. You can benefit from the same approach. And as you think about how to make any training work best for you, consider these tips we share from decades of coaching people when they feel vulnerable.
1. Let us know about your challenges.
We don't have a one-size-fits-all approach, so if you've developed a way of speaking that helps you manage a challenge, we want to know.
For example, our general advice to speakers is to cut out the uhs and ums. But if you are managing a stutter, you might need those sounds to keep your speech flowing—and we'd support that. Or, if dyslexia makes reading difficult, you might find reading a speech from a script is especially nerve-racking. If so, we'd want to help you find a different way to create and deliver from notes.
2. Embrace your strengths.
Hard charging over-achievers often tell us: Forget the good stuff and tell me what I need to fix. Yes, we can suggest improvements for you. At the same time, we ask you to work with us: Let us help you see what you do well, so you can do more with it.
When people talk to us about their public speaking, they tend to talk about what they think isn’t working. Yet, as one of our astute Executive Seminar students once put it: "I'm super at focusing on what I do wrong. If that was helpful, I'd have become great a long time ago and wouldn't need to be here."
3. Give new ways a sincere try.
Some speakers have genuine hurdles to overcome. Other speakers believe they have hurdles that we feel are self-inflicted. One of those is to spend time rationalizing your old way of doing something, instead of giving our new way a try.
For example, one piece of feedback we give often is for a speaker to slow their rate of speech. Speakers who rush are hard for audiences to follow. Many times, the speaker we're trying to help slow down will tell us: Everyone says I speak too fast…or…That's how I've always done it...or...Yeah, I'm a fast talker.
We're sorry to tell these speakers: None of your comments has changed the fact that you need to slow down and that you CAN slow down, if you'll try our techniques and take on the challenge to change.
4. Keep it going with small improvements, bit by bit.
In our public speaking training programs, we see speakers make quick and dramatic progress. The next opportunity for them is to make these changes stick for the long haul. One way to do that is to commit to incorporate small improvements whenever you speak.
For example, if you have a meeting or informal presentation on your calendar, make the extra effort to have a strong open for your message. Perhaps you commit to doing this every time, for a month. Thirty days later, having a strong open becomes a routine part of your preparation, something you don't have to remind yourself to do with a sticky note. Now, you're ready to move onto tackling another improvement.
Likewise, if removing filler words is a goal for you, try doing that in your everyday conversations as well as in presentations. No more uh, um, like, you know—even when it's a struggle. Most speakers find that taking out filler from their casual communication makes it easier to do the same when they speak to a group in a higher pressure situation. You become a more impressive communicator all around. When you make it a habit, you don't have to work so hard to do it.
Strive for Interesting instead of Perfect
When we're presenting, it's tempting to judge our work against some notion we have of perfection. Yet as audience members, we know perfect is overrated.
A flawless presenter (if there is such a thing) is worthless to us if that person is not interesting or the information isn't useful. Better to be your fascinating, imperfect self with a commitment to work hard for your audience and message—and make steady improvements toward being the speaker your audience needs.
LEARN MORE
See these tips gleaned from our students in the military on how to learn new skills more quickly.
How can you get better feedback? Asking better questions can lead to better insights
See why it's helpful to embrace that public speaking is a skill, not a talent
